A word on whining

18 Jan

Humility is highly overrated.

I hate hate HATE when people hear of one’s misfortune and say things like, “at least…” “be thankful that…” “it’s God’s will…”  “Listen, when I did Unrelated Thing X, I handled it just fine…” All of those things do not help. There is a time for a good old-fashioned cowboy up speech, but for the most part, these things make people feel crappy. Guilty. Worthless. Weak.

There are instances where a good, solid whine is wholly appropriate. Sometimes the cards you’re dealt just suck. It’s ok to say it sucks. It’s ok for someone else to say to you, “yeah, that sucks.”

It doesn’t mean you’re dwelling on it, it doesn’t mean you’re not thankful for all of the great, wonderful things in your life. No one should have to be a hero in the midst of their turmoil.

When someone dies of illness or after a long struggle, so often people say, “he never complained”. I’m not sure why this is what we choose to brag about. Complaining is good, it gets out some of the gnarly feelings. It helps beat the guilt beast at bay. It makes having a good attitude that much easier.

Next time someone tells you bad news, feel free to let them know you empathize that they got a bum deal. Let them get it out. You may be their only opportunity.

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